I find myself thinking most deeply (haha, yes me) when things are changing in my life. It's almost like the rewind button gets jammed and I can't stop it. I keep remembering times past and wondering how I can recreate certain feelings/times and avoid others. Judging is not part of it, it's more like watching that movie you've seen time and time again.
I've watched my childhood, and teen years. As my boys have gotten older (now 18, 16, 14) I visit what I did at that age. Highschool, college, work, friends- you know the drill. I think about my own involvement with my family and try to examine my priorities at the time.
One of my strongest images of my youth in that film is my Gram.
Grandma has been gone for a while, but now her house is too. It's weird thinking of someone else in her space, in our space really. Gram's has been the center of my universe since I have been alive.
It never mattered where I lived, how old, how much trouble I was in....
I could always show up, get some tea, baked goods, a hug, advice, food to take home, and usually some clippings from a magazine that had reminded her of me- stored in a folder with my name on it.
My husband and I are changing too. Both of us. With our kids coming and going, our focus is shifting and new patterns are forming. Natural. My painting is reflecting my thoughts too. Natural. Still all of this is new. Scary.
All things change, yes I know. We all get older, we all die. I'm focused on that rewind though and thinking on how to recreate or avoid. I'm looking at my priorities at this stage of my life and refocusing. It's hard work but I hope I never forget to stop and rewind.
Here's to all of you at all of your different stages! Smile and --- be kind, rewind.